Wednesday, April 18, 2012

My favourite Ace insurance call

I receive calls from ACE insurance almost every other month. They will call to say that the accident insurance (same one every time) is for Citibank or Standard Chartered or Maybank, only one bank is mentioned each time. Today I tried another tactic, hoping to test the telemarketeer.

Me: Will you mail me the policy document so that I can read first before I buy from you over the phone?
Her: You will get the policy document after you buy the product.
Me: I want to see what I am buying first, I don't like it the other way round. I can drop by Maybank to collect it.
Her: This promotion is only available over telephone.
Me: In that case, it's not suitable.
Her: We have the benefits brochure, we can email it to you.
Me: I want to see the exclusions and claim procedures.
Her: We only have the benefits. You can cancel the policy after you get the policy document after buying the product.
Me: I don't want to go through that trouble.
Her: Is there any more questions that I can answer to help you understand the product better?
Me: Yes, I want to know the exclusions and claim procedures.
Her: Good bye.

Pawned. I must learn how to record phone conversations and then post it on youtube, like the sensation caused by call centre agent who didn't allow the AOL (american online) 30 year old customer who wanted to terminated his subscription by telling him to consult his father first.

Friday, April 13, 2012

ambiguity

Few months back, I read in a self improvement book that whenever your boss assigns you with work, he doesn't know 80% of what is to be done.

Over that same few months, I was assigned more and more work, and the pace was so fast that it felt like projects were passed around like changing clothes. I realised that the only way I could finish my work was to make decisions based on the 20% information passed to me. When I think of it in another way, anybody else could have done the same piece of work because I was answering questions and planning what to do based on the 20% information. The difference is, whether the answer is right or wrong. 

When I first started work here 6 months ago, I had 2 projects, of which I was spending 50% of my time on each. Now I have 8 projects, of which I am barely spending more than 15% of my time on each. Some are just getting only 5% of my time. I still get by. I also recalled the support work I was doing in my previous job, and the times I told my boss that if I didn't have to do support, I would be able to do more. After getting rid of support work, unfortunately by quitting, I was able to see how much capacity I actually had. Surprisingly, a lot, and my boss still thinks I still can be loaded with 2 or 3 more projects =.='

The only "warning" I issued was I can't multitask if you want me to cook and wash the floor at the same time, I can't, but if you want me to multitask in terms of brain work, I have no problems, I can have 10 or 20 problems uploaded in my brain and as long as I get the time to download them from my brain. I really feel the drag my hands are to my brain when I spent the last whole month preparing a tender evaluation report and letter of award. I didn't even use 1% of my brain and couldn't even get any other work done. However, once I was done with the hand work, I managed to solve the whole month's worth back log of problems that have been queueing up. This also made me think that if I didn't have to use my hands at all, I would still have capacity, but that's not very realistic because I am not stephen hawking.

Back to ambguity. I realised that how I got around juggling my work is like playing a game of sudoku. The board is likely to be only filled with 5% of the answers, but given the rules, I have to think of heuristics to convert all the blanks into a constraint satisfaction problem, and then start filling the blanks, starting from the most constrained. I am like the doctor only seeing you for 5 minutes, but there are other people to do the data gathering and eventually prescription. I can't exactly say that I enjoy being the 'doctor' because I have a forever long queue of patients but I am contributing to the society by being a useful citizen, and my 20 years investment in education is fully utilised.

What inspired me to come into terms with ambiguity was that self improvement book telling me that anyone, given 100% of the information, will be able to make the right decision. I recalled all the mathematical problem solving our education system put us through. We were given only 20% of the information in the form of a question, and we had to work out more information to help us derive the final answer, and when it's correct, gives you 100% of the information. Now I am solving problems based on 5% information and sometimes no information. It feels like having to piece a 1,000 piece jig saw without the picture. lol 

I think of my current disambiguition cum jig saw puzzle work like the mathematical problems I used to solve. I practise a lot so that I don't make mistakes and I get better each time, so even with more projects, I get by. Back in school days, out of 400 people, you get the most 5 people (1%) who will get full marks, sometimes none. At work, it's the same, not everyone will score a perfect score with all the problems given to them, but it's likely that the people who always score full marks or near full marks are the same few people. There is a secret to it, they are just not telling you.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Delphine Cleaner

A salesman came by today to demonstrate what the delphine vacuum cleaner could do. Their selling point is that it can suck dust at very low power, 50 watts, as compared with 1600 to 2000 watts vacuum cleaner. They claim this is because they don't use filter bags to trap dirt, hence they don't need the extra power to suck dirt through the cloth/paper filters. The design is very ingenious to an engineering person. The use of 3 turbines above a basin of water generates a core of low pressure that creates an air flow system that drops the dirt that is sucked in into the water. His explanation is that dust particles are positive ions and when sucked out from the air creates a negative ion atmosphere, which will diffuse all over the house, technically cleaning the whole house with the machine stationary at one corner of the house. So I asked him, do you mean that I will also be cleaning the corridors and all my neighbours' homes? He said no. lol...

First he showed how it can be used as an air purifier. After testing this, I confirm that the dust really left the surface of my house with this machine. We have a 2000 W vacuum cleaner which does only 50% of the job, and with the supermop we bought which is supposed to trap even more dust, and magic cleaner wipes, all in, still cannot fight the effectiveness of this machine. And it can do the job in lesser time and power, that was why I was sold.

Next he cleaned the mattress. I should have taken a photograph of the grime. The water looked like a big cup of cuppucino, the foamy parts were incredible. He said they are a combination dead skin cells and dust mites, as dust mites feast on dead skin cells. The design is also very intelligent. The machine vibrates the mattress to send the dust up. Maybe it's because it's the first time i see such a machine, but I was blown away by the design of the brush for the mattress cleaner... It has a helixical-shaped brush with gaps, instead of the standard straight brush, to create an air flow that covers a larger surface area.

After that, he said the machine can also clean air con pipes and air con filters. He cleaned our air con pipe but there wasn't much to suck out. We hardly used the air con, and few months back, we got all of them cleaned and serviced.

He also showed that the brushes can be used to clean the walls, curtains, table top, etc, not impressive, standard stuff.

He also said that the machine can clean choked pipes. I asked him to clear our toilet basin's choked pipe. The pipe was cleared in 3 minutes. Efficient. It was very very very very very smelly for the first minute. After the 3 minutes, the water pipe was as good as new. The water now drains out 20 times faster lol. Sold. I never thought that clearing a pipe means forcing compressed air through, much like blowing balloons into blocked arteries to force the grime to unlatch from their cushy spots and flush them down the sewerage system. I had been brain washed by plumbers since young that clearing choked pipes means sucking them out onto your own turf and then washing them down. That isn't the solution to choked pipes, much like clearing the phelgm in your throat.

The max power is 900 W, only used to blow choked pipes and suck air con pipes. Other times, vacuuming the floor requires around 100W, vacuuming the wall, sponge mats, because of static, require about 300 W. I am quite satisfied with the machine. Now I am just looking forward to see the electricity bill for this month. If it reduces, then I think the machine is not only efficient, but also productive.

Total cost of ownership = $3,424

It will be worth every cent if nobody falls sick in the house. I have already spent more than that on yaya's medical bills since the day she was born, so if it works, I will endorse it.

It claims that cleaning with this machine prevents allergies, asthma, eczema, and if you believe it, helps you maintain better skin and complexion. Well, it's not too hard to believe, if dust particles are a rare sight.

And maybe I should rent out the machine to cover the capital investment.

And and and... if I eventually come to terms to endorse it, each machine I sell purportedly gives me $500 commission.

On second thoughts, as long as nobody falls sick in the house for the next 1 year, the investment will pay off.

Oh, and the salesman carries a prada bag, dunno whether real or fake.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

in a different world

I intended to post this last week friday, but I didn't manage to even use facebook on my PC and the android app didn't have a post note function, so I just typed out a short story and saved in in my phone. I also haven't been writing much because I have been hardly using my brain, lots of brainless work at work, so nothing pisses me off, hence no stories lol... Here it goes.
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I was writing a sentence, that a number was too high, so I changed it to a lower number. My boss then asked how the number was changed. I could only think of one answer, I edited the number in the word doc, but it sounded stupid so I didn't reply. When i said i will explain to him how the number was derived, he said, you reduced it right? yes, so that was the answer.

I thought for a while how else the question could have been to not make me think that how was the number changed means changing the number was editing the number in the word doc, and printing it out again...

And as I was thinking, I realised I overshot my train stop by two, so I alighted, rode up the escalator, exited the station and realised that it looked different, I was in another world.
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I managed to find some time to do some brainy work today - even if it was for only an hour, was a breath of fresh air, hence I don't feel as conked out, and can finally log in to post my overdue note. It really sucks when you have to solve a problem yourself because your user complains, your boss chases you for it, your vendor x 2 both say it's not their problem and can't give any solution, and there are 2-3 meetings everyday with no time left to even look at the problem. When I took at a look at a 2-month old problem, finally, after endless brainless tasks which has impaired a large part of my mental capacity, I noticed the html image tags being different, called the vendor in to check, then while looking for this tag I told him to check, he found the solution to the problem. How nice things fall into place sometimes... only if I had the chance to use my brain earlier lol... Oh, and it feels great to know that I know more about how the load balancer words than the chaps supporting the system, but that feeling only lasts for as long as I continue to learn and be ahead of the pack. And it sucks to be the bottleneck.